Dear God, WEAR A COSTUME! Halloween is a chance for prude, boring girls to dress up like sluts. But as escorts, we're pros! We know how to work sexy outfits. For once, the public gets to appreciate why we're so amazing.
I can always spot an escort at a costume party. She's NOT the one surrounded by her girlfriends, giggling like a hyena, surreptitiously sniffing her armpits for B.O.
She's the one surrounded by all the boyfriends. She sweats confidence. She's got a cellphone holstered in her garter belt. (you never know, clients get lonely on holidays)
Here are the top 10 sexy, (and ironic) costumes an escort should wear on Halloween.
1. BEAVER
It's cute, and ours pays the bills.
Work like a boss, play like a boss.
3. JAIL BAIT
Here's to not hoping.
4. COP
When you can't beat em, join em.
5. GEISHA
In Japan, the escort is adored.
6. GANGSTA
We got bills and skills.
7. GOLD DIGGER
At least we're honest about it.
8. COUGAR
Mature escorts are wise and sexy.
9. DEVIL
Your girlfriend's nickname for us.
10. DELIVERY
The best things cum to your door.
xoxo
Chastity B.
ps. Look out for me in LA, here's what I'll be wearing : )
#9 is the best...though dressed as devil but an angel for every boys...
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